There’s a couple things I noticed when reading this application that I wanted to bring to your attention.
The way you pitched this is clever but what it says in plain text is that you want to be Staff. And that’s it. If I was the one deciding here I would probably expect answers like “Providing fun experiences” or “Giving back to the community”. But what you said was that you want to be on the Event team to be on the Staff team. That doesn’t make sense and it reads as incredibly shallow to me. It shows evidently that you don’t care about being Event but rather want to use it as a stepping stone and leverage it when you try to become Staff. That’s not how this works and I would hope that Bears and the rest of the team take this into account. Of course I’m not them and I don’t know how they will interpret this. I’m just letting you know from my perspective how I see it.
Listen man I’ve never met you before or talked to you or anything but I can already tell you’re one of those people who some would call a “staff tryhard” or “minimod”. All I had to do was click on your forums card and everything I need to know is right here:
I’m going to tell you in the simplest way how to fix this.
Stop coming onto this server everyday thinking “How am I going to become staff?”
Instead, you should be thinking “How am I going to contribute to this community?”
You will find that if you just focus on being the best person you can be by participating in the server in a meaningful way, you will achieve things the RIGHT way. For now, you read as someone who is incredibly fake and only wishes to get a Staff rank.
Being in Band during the school year isn’t a weakness. The question is asking about you. You answered the strength correctly but need to apply it to a weakness as well. The question is gauging what you feel like you fall short on in relation to the position you are applying for. It is a common question posed in almost all applications and interviews you will ever find yourself in.
I think you know what to do but if you want more information on this you should read this article:
Now before I conclude, there is something I think you did particularly well at. You answered “What sets you apart from other applicants?” by listing qualities and then reinforcing those statements with evidence. I think your application is outstanding in that regard.
The problem I have with this however is that it’s outstanding for the wrong reason. Because you’ve revealed in your own writing that your motive is that you just want it to get a leg up. At least we know you’re honest like you said.
You need to take your goal and guide it in a more genuine direction.
You need to stop this kind of thinking.