Haha, I love this sentence. The drama! The intrigue! 
Thank you for taking the time to create this post; it’s evident that you are a passionate community member and you wish to see prison improve. There is good news. Many of the points you made are being addressed in Map V. I can’t give any details at this time, as it will be up to @DreamOnPvP to do so when the time is right.
Just please rest assured that the community’s voice has been heard and Munchy is striving to meet players’ expectations. I’m very excited about the new ideas and changes that are upcoming for Prison, and I think you will be too. So please hang tight for the upcoming map.
Also, you mention being interested in becoming staff. Please apply during the next staff applications season; we will be happy to review your application.