Overall, in my opinion, this looks more like a Staff application. It seems as if you want Event rank, so that you can help others? Yes, every Staff member should always help someone, who’s in need of help but this is an Event application. I feel like I didn’t get the ‘thing’ from you. You also have some ‘wording’ issues like
You should add more details/more reasons to what sets you apart/why do you want to be and etc.
Fix the wording issues, it shows that when you finished this application, you glimpsed over it and submitted it.